Twitter anyone?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010
My friends (especially my cousin) been asking me when am I going to open a twitter account. They put me under intense pressure and I cracked.

So if anyone is on twitter, follow my tweets? @ sultryt3e


Album Review

Like most of Badu's albums, I had to listen to Return of the Ankh twice before I can digested it all. I don't know how to do proper reviews, but I will say the retro-futuristic song "Gone Baby, Don't Be Long" is my favorite by far. Something about that song brings me back to when I was a youngin' in Brooklyn. The beat is cool and mesmerizing. Actually the whole album takes you on a hypnotic psychedelic ride. It's freaky yet pleasant. Queen Badu made me feel what falling in love is and what love is and could be. I really got comfortably lost in her world especially in "Love". It starts off with an voiceover saying that there's only two emotions that humankind experience: fear and love and all the other emotions branches directly or indirectly from them. I concur. Maybe that's why she walked down the streets of Dallas stripping her clothes off for her video "Window Seat" to prove that you can overcome and conquer your fears. We really do need to stop with the "group think" and not be afraid to be individuals.  That's just my interpretation especially after listening to the whole album and understanding the recurring theme of discovering what you really feel deep inside.
"Umm Hmm" is another classic.
 "Fall in Love (your funeral)" is very vintage and funky. It sounds familiar though. I can relate to what she's saying about falling in love with her. Very honest.
You also hear a similar chant from "Twinkle"  in "Incense" but I don't think people will be saying "It's scary. Ooh it's making me feel uncomfortable" with this one. It's peaceful and orgasmic rather.
There's also something special about her 10 min outro "Out of my Mind, Just in Time" it sounds like "Green Eyes" but more evolved. A lot of people can relate especially to the intro line " I'm a recovering undercover overlover". I haven't let the whole song seep in yet, so I'll discover more later on.

Overall I love it. I wouldn't call it a masterpiece but I like the feeling I feel when I listen to it.

Sidenote: Someone asked me why do I dig Erykah Badu so much. My response: Well as an artist, she gives me a sense of identity...

Window Seat video

This video is pure genius. She's a f**king genius for doing this. If you don't like or understand it, then it's just not for you. She wasn't wearing one of those Beyonce bikini thong outfits shaking her booty all over the place, so I really don't get the negative hype. Then again, that's exactly the message she's conveying: people being afraid to step out of the norm and their comfort zone...

New Amerykah Part II

Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Last month when I picked up Nneka's last album at FYE, the store clerk looking at me and said "You seem like you'd be interested in Erykah Badu, you want to reserve a copy?"
-"Oh hell YEA!!! I mean why yes" I replied.
He laughed, "Well it's coming out on February 23rd we'll reserve a copy for you and call you when it gets here".
February 23rd came around, no call.
I began lurking around FYE during my lunch break; it was obvious I was a hardcore fan.
The store clerk recognized me and said, "you reserved Badu's CD didn't you?"
-"Well it's not here yet it got pushed until March 30th, but I promise we'll call you when it comes out aight ma".
-"Ok" as I sighed.
So I checked out Badu's website, he was right she had pushed it to March 30th.
I've been patiently waiting for her latest CD to come out and I'm happy to say that on this oh so rainy day, I finally have her CD in my hands. I walked into FYE saw the CD and I was elated. The heavens opened, the angels sang sweet songs, and despite the fact that New England is currently going through some depressing dire weather conditions, my day was brightened.
If anybody personally knows Erykah Badu, please let her know that no matter what, I am a fan for life and she is the Queen who makes my heart smile

So yea her CD is out today! Make sure to get a copy when you can!

Poem of the Day

Thursday, March 25, 2010
We all have moments when inspiration is needed,                                        
when our motivation falters, and our shadows seem to overwhelm our guiding light.
Our vision becomes cloudy,
and we use our already soggy sleeve to wipe away what will lead to tears.
The breath we try to take smells foul and polluted,
and pressing forward seems halted by heavy feet.
We search our hearts and minds for the truth to set us free….
but none of our truths seem to apply ;
at least not to this moment.
The undaunting spirit is daunted;
your favorite sword seems heavy, yet the enemy still approaches.
And you wonder, what will stir your spirit;
what will give you strength?

-Author Known

Real Talk

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

 I've been trying so hard to stay away from blogging about this, but it's always in my face so here it goes. I've been stumbling upon a lot of blogs, articles, magazines about black men dating outside of their race, black women saying there's a shortage of good black men, black men taking trips to Brazil, Dominican Republican, now Europe Sweden I see you for see where I'm going with this? Yes, relationships in the black community is somewhat of the hot topic. But you know what though, I want to talk about what lies beneath it all. What's the real deal. Since I can't really write about the issues with black men, I'll write about what I'm knowledgeable about: black women with daddy issues.
Nobody really want to talk about this, but a lot of us are walking around with our daddy issues carry-on luggage and dragging it within relationships after relationships, never acknowledging that there's a problem. Sometimes I blame the media because frequent themes is how detrimental it is for a young man to grow up without his father, well same goes for young women too Time Warner and Viacom!!!
There's that usual assumption that women know how to be in relationships or deal with men. But if their fathers never played a role in their lives, you really think we know what the hell we're suppose to be doing in relationships? Black women are worried about black men leaving us for other races, "they taking all the good black men", you know what, cut the crap. Does it really matter if Tyrone decides to date Becky or Mae Lin. What we really need to be worried about, is our we plan on raising solid families for future generations. We need to work together and break the cycle of absentee parents ladies and gents. Maybe it's time that we find the origins to our issues and stop believing the lies that we (black women) are not good enough. Or that since there's a shortage, we need to hold on tight to the ass-clowns who pays attention to us and settle, even when they're treating you as if you're a piece of gum stuck under their shoes.

I firmly believe that the way a woman interacts with her father shapes their relationship with men (period). Take a look at your relationship with your father and then compare it to all your relationships with men, can you see the uh oh? We all have our issues; issues that goes way back to slavery. You have men out there whose mission is to destroy women in order to fulfill their insecurities, and women are just plain lost, confused, and hopeless. I don't know the solution, I really don't. I don't know how to make black women who's been abandoned by her father to trust men. I don't know how to show or teach women to communicate with men. What I do know is that we really need to work on ourselves and our issues. I know women who believe that they have no issues and that it's THEM, the brothers...they're the one who needs fixing. Well listen up, we ALL need fixing. We all need to start loving ourselves, knowing our worth, and knowing who we are.
We black women need to take care of ourselves spiritually, psychologically, mentally, and physically. Believe it or not, but a lot of us need guidance and are ill-equipped to deal with black men. If you're broken, damaged, and incomplete due to your familial background, don't you think you'll bring all of that into a relationship? I myself battle with the whole, "forgive your fathers/parents" because I was never told how exactly to forgive. I do know though, that someday I would like to be so comfortable and accepting of ALL of me and be wholesome, in order to attract another completed person.
Honestly, we're both (black men and women) looking for support from one another and not getting it because we don't trust each other. We're confused, we're impatient, we're hurt, and we're not communicating. All we can do is overstand our foundation, work on ourselves, and choose carefully.
 We all need to emancipate ourselves from mental slavery if you want to see some changes regarding relationships in the black community. It's really not as abstract as it seems. We have too much pride and don't want to sit down and talk about our fears, hurt, insecurities, and confusions with each other.Yea it makes us vulnerable and exposes our true selves, but maybe that's what we need....

New Amerykah Part Two Cover Album

Thursday, March 18, 2010
Oh Jezi that's my girl! Album is on reserve can't wait till March 30th

8 months loc update

I did a couple of changes during my 8 months locing stage. I used a new gel this time around called Better Locks. It's okay. Nothing about it fascinates me. It gets the job done.  I also use a new shampoo called Bioluxe (yea it's at CVS). I like it.  It makes my hair soft and shiny. I still use Vitamin E oil capsules in my spritze bottle. It's an utter must for me since my hair tends to get dry, so it keeps it moist throughout the whole day. I also darkened my hair with "henna". The lady at the store told me it was henna, but  I'm pretty sure it was indigo because #1 there's no such thing as black henna, #2 the powder itself wasn't black, it was green that turned into a bluest glaze paste when mixed with water. Whatever I used, may have been indigo that is marketed as "black henna" (I hope).  Anywho, I've always wanted to have the bluest black hair color, and this time I like how it came out. My hair looks violent under the sun and super jet black. I like it a lot. I think this might be a regular routine for me once I figure out if the product I used, was PPD free. So yea 8 months woohoo!
Before Henna or Indigo application

Henna or Indigo result

I love it!
Oh another thing, I'm going to semi-freeform at some point whatever that really means. I'm twisting my hair less often.

After my 3 months stage, I started twisting every 3-4 weeks. Now I'm going to twist every 6-8 weeks. At some point, I don't want to retwist at all. When I first started locing, a friend of mine said that and I was kind of disturbed. I couldn't imagine not re-twisting my hair AT ALL. Now, I completely understand what she means. Twisting is a freakin hassle, I don't like interrupting my sistas (yes my locs are my sistas), and I don't like my scalp showing. I prefer the "messy" thick look. Besides, I don't want my hair thinning out anytime soon. The more you twist, the weaker your hair gets.
Freeform fits my personality much better...
Ok that's it for the Hair Talk


The entire senior class at Chicago's only public all-male, all-African-American high school has been accepted to four-year colleges

Newsworthy, but have we heard about it on the news???? Nope, because it is just too positive.

Charter school in tough neighborhood gets all its seniors into college

Urban Prep Academy senior Keith Greer, along with his classmates, celebrates the news they will receive a free prom in Chicago because 100 percent of the graduating class was accepted into 4-year colleges or universities. (Tribune photo by Heather Charles / March 5, 2010)

The entire senior class at Chicago's only public all-male, all-African-American high school has been accepted to four-year colleges. At last count, the 107 seniors had earned spots at 72 schools across the nation.

Mayor Richard Daley and Chicago Public Schools chief Ron Huberman surprised students at an all-school assembly at Urban Prep Academy for Young Men in Englewood this morning to congratulate them. It's the first graduating class at Urban Prep since it opened its doors in 2006.

Huberman applauded the seniors for making CPS shine.

"All of you in the senior class have shown that what matters is perseverance, what matters is focus, what matters is having a dream and following that dream," Huberman said.

The school enforces a strict uniform of black blazers, khaki pants and red ties -- with one exception. After a student receives the news he was accepted into college, he swaps his red tie for a red and gold one at an assembly.

The last 13 students received their college ties today, to thunderous applause.

Ask Rayvaughn Hines what college he was accepted to and he'll answer with a question.

"Do you want me to name them all?"

For the 18-year-old from Back of the Yards, college was merely a concept--never a goal--growing up. Even within the last three years, he questioned if school, let alone college, was for him. Now, the senior is headed to the prestigious Morehouse College in Atlanta, Ga. next fall.

Hines remembers the moment he put on his red and gold tie.

"I wanted to take my time because I was just so proud of myself," he said. "I wanted everyone to see me put it on."

The achievement might not merit a mayoral visit at one of the city's elite, selective enrollment high schools. But Urban Prep, a charter school that enrolls using a lottery in one of the city's more troubled neighborhoods, faced difficult odds. Only 4 percent of this year's senior class read at grade level as freshmen, according to Tim King, the school's CEO.

"I never had a doubt that we would achieve this goal," King said. "Every single person we hired knew from the day one that this is what we do: We get our kids into college."

College is omnipresent at the school. Before the students begin their freshman year, they take a field trip to Northwestern University. Every student is assigned a college counselor the day he steps foot in the school.

The school offers an extended day--170,000 more minutes over four years compared to its counterparts across the city--and more than double the number of English credits usually needed to graduate.

Even the school's voicemail has a student declaring "I am college bound" before it asks callers to dial an extension.

Normally, it takes senior Jerry Hinds two buses and 45 minutes to get home from school. On Dec. 11, the day University of Illinois at Champaign- Urbana was to post his admission decisions online at 5 p.m., he asked a friend to drive him home.

He went into his bedroom, told his well-wishing mother this was something he had to do alone, closed the door and logged in.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" he remembers screaming. His mother, who didn't dare stray far, burst in and began crying.

That night he made more than 30 phone calls, at times shouting "I got in" on his cell phone and home phone at the same time.

"We're breaking barriers," he said. "And that feels great."
Copyright © 2010, Chicago Tribune

I Quit-Toni Blackman

Friday, March 12, 2010
i quit

you felt
like a job

no perks
no benefits
no vacation

of resignation

-Toni Blackman

Emancipate Oluwakemi

                                     These are just a few inspirational posters by Oluwakemi. She writes:

And then there was nine. “That’s a whole lot of Oluwakemi,” I thought to myself as I wrapped up the very last poster. And after all that work (which, mostly consisted of research, comtemplation, modeling for Moja Ma’at – the contributing photographer and sketching), I remembered once again why I am the subject of this series. It seems very post modern to be the subject of my art but for quite a few years I was not the subject of my life. I had removed myself from my life in an attempt to place myself in my future, the future I wanted, the life I wanted. What I have come to see know is that everything I need, to have and give what I want, is right here – right now. So in creating these pieces, I theoretically reintroduced myself into my life through these tenets . . .okay that sounded really post modern. To translate – in the past I had allowed myself to become invisble (I hated being in pictures, I never wanted to be the center of attention, etc.) and in reclaiming my identity and my freedom, I am becoming visible (doing a photoshoot, publicizing that photoshoot through this blog, moving forward with my passion to be creative and to serve). That kind of sounded post modern too, but hopefully you get my gist. Check in with me tomorrow when this series will be available for purchase to help me move forward and the organizations I support do the same.

This woman is amazing you can check out her blog at

Poverty of Philosophy

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Most of my Latino and black people who are struggling to get food, clothes and shelter in the hood are so concerned with that, that philosophizing about freedom and socialist democracy is usually unfortunately beyond their rationale. They don't realize that America can't exist without separating them from their identity, because if we had some sense of who we really are, there's no way in hell we'd allow this country to push it's genocidal consensus on our homelands. This ignorance exists, but it can be destroyed.

Nigga talk about change and working within the system to achieve that. The problem with always being a conformist is that when you try to change the system from within, it's not you who changes the system; it's the system that will eventually change you. There is usually nothing wrong with compromise in a situation, but compromising yourself in a situation is another story completely, and I have seen this happen long enough in the few years that I've been alive to know that it's a serious problem. Latino America is a huge colony of countries whose presidents are cowards in the face of economic imperialism. You see, third world countries are rich places, abundant in resources, and many of these countries have the capacity to feed their starving people and the children we always see digging for food in trash on commercials. But plutocracies, in other words a government run by the rich such as this one and traditionally oppressive European states, force the third world into buying overpriced, unnecessary goods while exporting huge portions of their natural resources.

I'm quite sure that people will look upon my attitude and sentiments and look for hypocrisy and hatred in my words. My revolution is born out of love for my people, not hatred for others.

You see, most of Latinos are here because of the great inflation that was caused by American companies in Latin America. Aside from that, many are seeking a life away from the puppet democracies that were funded by the United States; places like El Salvador, Guatemala, Peru, Columbia, Nicaragua, Ecuador and Republica Dominicana, and not just Spanish-speaking countries either, but Haiti and Jamaica as well.

As different as we have been taught to look at each other by colonial society, we are in the same struggle and until we realize that, we'll be fighting for scraps from the table of a system that has kept us subservient instead of being self-determined. And that's why we have no control over when the embargo will stop in Cuba, or when the bombs will stop dropping in Vieques.

But you see, here in America the attitude that is fed to us is that outside of America there live lesser people. "Fuck them, let them fend for themselves." No, Fuck you, they are you. No matter how much you want to dye your hair blonde and put fake eyes in, or follow an anorexic standard of beauty, or no matter how many diamonds you buy from people who exploit your own brutally to get them, no matter what kind of car you drive or what kind of fancy clothes you put on, you will never be them. They're always gonna look at you as nothing but a little monkey. I'd rather be proud of what I am, rather than desperately trying to be something I'm really not, just to fit in. And whether we want to accept it or not, that's what this culture or lack of culture is feeding us.

I want a better life for my family and for my children, but it doesn't have to be at the expense of millions of lives in my homeland. We're given the idea that if we didn't have these people to exploit then America wouldn't be rich enough to let us have these little petty material things in our lives and basic standards of living. No, that's wrong. It's the business giants and the government officials who make all the real money. We have whatever they kick down to us. My enemy is not the average white man, it's not the kid down the block or the kids I see on the street; my enemy is the white man I don't see: the people in the white house, the corporate monopoly owners, fake liberal politicians those are my enemies. The generals of the armies that are mostly conservatives those are the real Mother-Fuckers that I need to bring it to, not the poor, broke country-ass soldier that's too stupid to know shit about the way things are set up.

In fact, I have more in common with most working and middle-class white people than I do with most rich black and Latino people. As much as racism bleeds America, we need to understand that classism is the real issue. Many of us are in the same boat and it's sinking, while these bougie Mother-Fuckers ride on a luxury liner, and as long as we keep fighting over kicking people out of the little boat we're all in, we're gonna miss an opportunity to gain a better standard of living as a whole.

In other words, I don't want to escape the plantation I want to come back, free all my people, hang the Mother-Fucker that kept me there and burn the house to the god damn ground. I want to take over the encomienda and give it back to the people who work the land.

You cannot change the past but you can make the future, and anyone who tells you different is a Fucking lethargic devil. I don't look at a few token Latinos and black people in the public eye as some type of achievement for my people as a whole. Most of those successful individuals are sell-outs and house Negros.

But, I don't consider brothers a sell-out if they move out of the ghetto. Poverty has nothing to do with our people. It's not in our culture to be poor. That's only been the last 500 years of our history; look at the last 2000 years of our existence and what we brought to the world in terms of science, mathematics, agriculture and forms of government. You know the idea of a confederation of provinces where one federal government controls the states? The Europeans who came to this country stole that idea from the Iroquois lead. The idea of impeaching a ruler comes from an Aztec tradition. That's why Montezuma was stoned to death by his own people 'cause he represented the agenda of white Spaniards once he was captured, not the Aztec people who would become Mexicans.

So in conclusion, I'm not gonna vote for anybody just 'cause they black or Latino they have to truly represent the community and represent what's good for all of us proletariat.

Porque sino entonces te mando por el carajo cabron gusano hijo de puta, seramos libre pronto, viva la revolucion, VIVA LA REVOLUCION!


Funeka Ngwevela


Dope poetry by Nikki Giovanni

Wednesday, March 10, 2010
             Ego Tripping                               

I was born in the Congo.
I walked to the Fertile Crescent and built the sphinx.
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light.

I am bad.

I sat on the throne
drinking nectar with Allah.
I got hot and sent an ice age to Europe
to cool my thirst.
My oldest daughter is Nefertiti.
The tears from my birth pains
created the Nile.

I am a beautiful woman.

I gazed on the forest and burned
out the Sahara desert.
With a packet of goat's meat
and a change of clothes,
I crossed it in two hours.
I am a gazelle so swift,
so swift you can't catch me.

For a birthday present when he was three,
I gave my son Hannibal an elephant.
He gave me Rome for mother's day.

My strength flows ever on.

My son Noah built an ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day.
I turned myself into myself and was Jesus.

Men intone my loving name.
All praises all praises,
I am the one who would save.

I sowed diamonds in my back yard.
My bowels deliver uranium.
The filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels.

On a trip north,
I caught a cold and blew
my nose giving oil to the Arab world.
I am so hip even my errors are correct.
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went.
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents.

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal.
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission.
I mean...I...can fly
like a bird in the sky...

Kidnap Poem

Ever been kidnapped
by a poet
if i were a poet
i'd kidnap you
put you in my phrases and meter

You to jones beach
or maybe coney island
or maybe just to my house
lyric you in lilacs
dash you in the rain
blend into the beach
to complement my see

Play the lyre for you
ode you with my love song
anything to win you
wrap you in the red Black green
show you off to mama
yeah if i were a poet i'd kid
nap you 


it's not the crutches we decry
it's the need to move forward
though we haven't the strength

women aren't allowed to need
so they develop rituals
since we all know working hands idle
the devil
women aren't supposed to be strong
so they develop social smiles
and secret drinking problems
and female lovers whom they never touch
except in dreams

men are supposed to be strong
so they have heart attacks
and develop other women
who don't know their weaknesses
and hide their fears
behind male lovers
whom they religiously touch
each saturday morning on the basketball court
it's considered a sign of health doncha know
that they take such good care
of their bodies

i'm trying to say something about the human condition
maybe i should try again

Black male privilege checklist

Tuesday, March 9, 2010
I stumbled across this interesting article about black male privilege by Jewel Woods thought I'd share it.

The Black Male Privileges Checklist

Leadership and Politics

1. I don't have to choose my race over my sex in political matters.
2. When I read African American History textbooks, I will learn mainly about black men.
3. When I learn about the Civil Rights Movement & the Black Power Movements, most of the leaders that I will learn about will be black men.
4. I can rely on the fact that in the near 100-year history of national civil rights organizations such as the NAACP and the Urban League, virtually all of the executive directors have been male.
5. I will be taken more seriously as a political leader than black women.
6. Despite the substantial role that black women played in the Civil Rights Movement and Black Power Movement, currently there is no black female that is considered a "race leader".
7. I can live my life without ever having read black feminist authors, or knowing about black women's history, or black women's issues.
8. I can be a part of a black liberation organization like the Black Panther Party where an "out" rapist Eldridge Cleaver can assume leadership position.
9. I will make more money than black women at equal levels of education and occupation.
10. Most of the national "opinion framers" in Black America including talk show hosts and politicians are men.


11. I have the ability to define black women's beauty by European standards in terms of skin tone, hair, and body size. In comparison, black women rarely define me by European standards of beauty in terms of skin tone, hair, or body size.
12. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of having my hair conforming to any standard image of beauty the way black women do.
13. I do not have to worry about the daily hassles of being terrorized by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many instances bigger is better for my sex.
14. My looks will not be the central standard by which my worth is valued by members of the opposite sex.

Sex and Sexuality

15. I can purchase pornography that typically shows men defile women by the common practice of the "money shot.”
16. I can believe that causing pain during sex is connected with a woman's pleasure without ever asking her.
17. I have the privilege of not wanting to be a virgin, but preferring that my wife or significant other be a virgin.
18. When it comes to sex if I say "No", chances are that it will not be mistaken for “Yes".
19. If I am raped, no one will assume that "I should have known better" or suggest that my being raped had something to do with how I was dressed.
20. I can use sexist language like bonin’, laying the pipe, hittin-it, and banging that convey images of sexual acts based on dominance and performance.
21. I can live in a world where polygamy is still an option for men in the United States as well as around the world.
22. In general, I prefer being involved with younger women socially and sexually
23. In general, the more sexual partners that I have the more stature I receive among my peers.
24. I have easy access to pornography that involves virtually any category of sex where men degrade women, often young women.
25. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where "purity balls" apply to girls but not to boys.
26. When I consume pornography, I can gain pleasure from images and sounds of men causing women pain.

Popular Culture

27. I come from a tradition of humor that is based largely on insulting and disrespecting women; especially mothers.
28. I have the privilege of not having black women, dress up and play funny characters- often overweight- that are supposed to look like me for the entire nation to laugh.
29. When I go to the movies, I know that most of the leads in black films are men. I also know that all of the action heroes in black film are men.
30. I can easily imagine that most of the artists in Hip Hop are members of my sex.
31. I can easily imagine that most of the women that appear in Hip Hop videos are there solely to please men
32. Most of lyrics I listen to in hip-hop perpetuate the ideas of males dominating women, sexually and socially.
33. I have the privilege of consuming and popularizing the word pimp, which is based on the exploitation of women with virtually no opposition from other men.
34. I can hear and use language bitches and hoes that demean women, with virtually no opposition from men.
35. I can wear a shirt that others and I commonly refer to as a "wife beater" and never have the language challenged.
36. Many of my favorite movies include images of strength that do not include members of the opposite sex and often are based on violence.
37. Many of my favorite genres of films, such as martial arts, are based on violence.
38. I have the privilege of popularizing or consuming the idea of a thug, which is based on the violence and victimization of others with virtually no opposition from other men.


39. I have the privilege to define black women as having "an attitude" without referencing the range of attitudes that black women have.
40. I have the privilege of defining black women's attitudes without defining my attitudes as a black man.
41. I can believe that the success of the black family is dependent on returning men to their historical place within the family, rather than in promoting policies that strengthen black women's independence, or that provide social benefits to black children.
42. I have the privilege of believing that a woman cannot raise a son to be a man.
43. I have the privilege of believing that a woman must submit to her man.
44. I have the privilege of believing that before slavery gender relationships between black men and women were perfect.
45. I have the privilege of believing that feminism is anti-black.
46. I have the privilege of believing that the failure of the black family is due to the black matriarchy.
47. I have the privilege of believing that household responsibilities are women's roles.
48. I have the privilege of believing that black women are different sexually than other women and judging them negatively based on this belief.


49. I will make significantly more money as a professional athlete than members of the opposite sex will.
50. In school, girls are cheerleaders for male athletes, but there is no such role for males to cheerlead for women athletes.
51. My financial success or popularity as a professional athlete will not be associated with my looks.
52. I can talk about sports or spend large portions of the day playing video games while women are most likely involved with household or childcare duties.
53. I can spend endless hours watching sports TV and have it considered natural.
54. I can touch, hug, or be emotionally expressive with other men while watching sports without observers perceiving this behavior as sexual.
55. I know that most sports analysts are male.
56. If I am a coach, I can motivate, punish, or embarrass a player by saying that the player plays like a girl.
57. Most sports talk show hosts that are members of my race are men.
58. I can rest assured that most of the coaches -even in predominately-female sports within my race are male.
59. I am able to play sports outside without my shirt on and it not be considered a problem.
60. I am essentially able to do anything inside or outside without my shirt on, whereas women are always required to cover up.


61. I have the privilege of being a part of a sex where the mutilation and disfigurement of a girl’s genitalia is used to deny her sexual sensations or to protect her virginity for males.
62. I have the privilege of not having rape be used as a primary tactic or tool to terrorize my sex during war and times of conflict.
63. I have the privilege of not being able to name one female leader in Africa or Asia, past or present, that I pay homage to the way I do male leaders in Africa and/or Asia.
64. I have the ability to travel around the world and have access to women in developing countries both sexually and socially.
65. I have the privilege of being a part of the sex that starts wars and that wields control of almost all the existing weapons of war and mass destruction.
66. In college, I will have the opportunity to date outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women will.
67. I have the privilege of having the phrase "sewing my wild oats" apply to my sex as if it were natural.
68. I know that the further I go in education the more success I will have with women.
69. In college, black male professors will be involved in interracial marriages at much higher rates than members of the opposite sex will.
70. By the time I enter college, and even through college, I have the privilege of not having to worry whether I will be able to marry a black woman.
71. In college, I will experience a level of status and prestige that is not offered to black women even though black women may outnumber me and out perform me academically.
72. If I go to an HBCU, I will have incredible opportunities to exploit black women
73. What is defined as "News" in Black America is defined by men.
74. I can choose to be emotionally withdrawn and not communicate in a relationships and it be considered unfortunate but normal.
75. I can dismissively refer to another persons grievances as ^*ing.
76. I have the privilege of not knowing what words and concepts like patriarchy, phallocentric, complicity, colluding, and obfuscation mean.


77. I have the privilege of marrying outside of the race at a much higher rate than black women marry.
78. My "strength" as a man is never connected with the failure of the black family, whereas the strength of black women is routinely associated with the failure of the black family.
79. If I am considering a divorce, I know that I have substantially more marriage, and cohabitation options than my spouse.
80. Chances are I will be defined as a "good man" by things I do not do as much as what I do. If I don't beat, cheat, or lie, then I am a considered a "good man". In comparison, women are rarely defined as "good women" based on what they do not do.
81. I have the privilege of not having to assume most of the household or child-care responsibilities.
82. I have the privilege of having not been raised with domestic responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and washing that takes up disproportionately more time as adults.
Church & Religious Traditions
83. In the Black Church, the majority of the pastoral leadership is male.
84. In the Black Church Tradition, most of the theology has a male point of view. For example, most will assume that the man is the head of household.

Physical Safety

85. I do not have to worry about being considered a traitor to my race if I call the police on a member of the opposite sex.
86. I have the privilege of knowing men who are physically or sexually abusive to women and yet I still call them friends.
87. I can video tape women in public- often without their consent - with male complicity.
88. I can be courteous to a person of the opposite sex that I do not know and say "Hello" or "Hi" and not fear that it will be taken as a come-on or fear being stalked because of it.
89. I can use physical violence or the threat of physical violence to get what I want when other tactics fail in a relationship.
90. If I get into a physical altercation with a person of the opposite sex, I will most likely be able to impose my will physically on that person
91. I can go to parades or other public events and not worry about being physically and sexually molested by persons of the opposite sex.
92. I can touch and physically grope women's bodies in public- often without their consent- with male complicity.
93. In general, I have the freedom to travel in the night without fear.
94. I am able to be out in public without fear of being sexually harassed by individuals or groups of the opposite sex.

You can now post comments!

I'm proud to say that I finally figured out how to fix my "post comment" thingy.
So excited! 
Please comment away...

Cold War

Friday, March 5, 2010

Window Seat


Thursday, March 4, 2010

U keep pushing the blame on our colonial fathers
U say they came and they took all we had processed
They have to take the abuse that they have caused our present state with their intruding history
Use our goodness and nourishment in the Name of missionary
Lied to us, blinded slaved us, misplaced us, strengthen us, hardened us then
They replaced us now we got to learn from pain
Now it is up to us to gain some recognition
If we stop blaming we could get a better condition

Wake up world!!
Wake up and stop sleeping
Wake up Africa!!
Wake up and stop blaming
Open ur eyes!!
Stand up and rise
Road block oh life penalty

Why do we want to remain where we started
And how long do we want to stop ourselves from thinking
We should learn from experience that what we are here for this existence
But now we decide to use the same hatred to oppress our own brothers
It is so comfortable to say racism is the cause
But this time it is the same color chasing and biting us
Knowledge and selfishness that they gave to us, this is what we use to abuse us

Wake up world!!
Wake up and stop sleeping
Wake up Africa!!
Wake up and stop blaming
Open ur eyes!!
Stand up and rise
Road block oh life penalty

Those who have ears let them hear
Brothers who are not brainwashed take ruins and rest
Pick them up and stick them back together
This is the only way we can change this African weather
Lied to us, blinded slaved us, misplaced us, strengthen us, hardened us then
They replaced us now we got to learn from pain

Wake up world!!
Wake up and stop sleeping
Wake up Africa!!
Wake up and stop blaming
Open ur eyes!!
Stand up and rise
Road block oh life penalty

You got to wake up please
You got too
(Wake up Africa, wake up and stop blaming)
Blaming ha, ha, ha
Open yours eyes your eyes
Stand up and rise
Road block oh life penalty
Wake up...

The Safest Place

In my heart                       
Your love has found
The safest hiding place
Inside is a field
And trees and a lake
Around is a wall
No-one from hell could break
In there you'll shine
In there you will cry

My heart has been a lonely warrior
Who's been to war
So you can be sure
In my heart your love has found
The safest hiding place


Inside is a stream
Around is a wall
No-one from hell could break
In there will shine
The light of heaven's eye
In there you will cry
My heart's been a lonely warrior
Who's been to war
So you can be sure
Your love's in a sacred place
The safest hiding place
My heart has been a lonely warrior before
Who's been to war
So you can be sure


FLAWLESS! song about love after many trials and bad relationships

Skin by Sade

When I found out this love's undone

I was like a gun, sure as it was over

Felt like nothing good could come

Sure as it's gonna play and play

Like Michael back in the day

I'm gonna peel you away

Now as I begin to wash you off my skin

I'm gonna peel you away

'Cause you're not right within

I love you so

Sometimes love has to let go

So this time don't think it's a lie

I say goodbye

Now as I begin to wash you off my skin

I'm gonna peel you away

'Cause you're not right within

Now it's time to wash you off my skin

Now as I begin, it couldn't be right

'Cause you're not right within

I say goodbye


I can relate to what this woman is saying. She really exposed all the different stages of love & relationships in this album.
Powerful and mind blowing song.
I love artists who can just reach into your heart and mind and touch every walls...

Beautiful and classic song.

Now as I begin to wash you off my skin
I'm gonna peel you away
'Cause you're not right within
 I love you so
Sometimes love has to let go

Bob Marley

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!”
-Bob Marley

"When you need to refer to a certain situation or crisis, there will always be a Bob Marley song that will relate to it. Bob was a musical prophet."  
-Judy Mowatt of the I-Threes

"Be an Outcast"

Since I'm on an "Imma Be" me streak, allow me to explain the stories with these 4 drawings.

"Afro Disqo"

I really love this one because it just came at of nowhere. I sat outside under the sun with my sketchpad, pencil, charcoal, oil pastel, and escaped for an hour. I love afros, LOVE EM. I called it "Afro Disqo" because Afros remind me of disco balls.  I drew this out of admiration for Afros. C'est tout. I loved it so much that I decided to show it to two of my friends. big mistake. These two friends started designing plans for me saying I should join in on a business plan with them to sell t-shirts and paintings, the other asked me what I was planning on doing with my talent. I said I want to move to a more artsy city in order meet other artists and grow.
-"Oh no you shouldn't move. umm umm. You could be the exceptional artist from Boston and turn this place around."

One of them asked me to draw a painting for him. The other said no she's my business partner now so everything should be discussed through me.

TESTING testing I'm still here

So these two friends envisioned a plan for me and I started thinking deeply about what they were saying and became utterly confused.
-"So T you're gonna draw something for me so I could put in my office?"
-"Yea sure whatever..."

I came up with "Divizyon" which means division.
I drew something I thought he would like, and didn't realize that my subconscious was telling me that I was dividing myself by allowing people to guide me...

He didn't like it.

I was in my puerile state of mind wanting to impress a customer? and quickly said okay I'll draw another one. This time I came up with "Fenix" but now I realize it should be called "introspection/wake up" because at that time, I didn't have enough ovaries to make decisions of my own, missed the red flags screaming "Stop doing things for people", and wasn't exercising my rights to free will.

He still didn't like it and this time I took in personally and said fuck it.

Another friend came along asked me to draw something for her and I came up with "Ble" Blue. mmmmmmmmmm
She didn't like it. I took it personally again and this was the last painting I drew before my block.

Whatever I was putting down on paper, were really messages I was receiving from my soul. I wasn't being my self anymore and made the mistake of listening to others and getting caught up. Like I said in an earlier post, I'm not putting any blames on anyone but myself. I can only take responsibility for how I let friends and others influence me...

If you had asked a few months ago, what were the inspiration behind these pieces, I wouldn't know. But now that I'm focused on what I want to accomplish, everything is making sense again.

I share these personal stories because I know everyone can relate. Everyone has a special talent. Whatever it is we all have purposes. Some choose to make a living out of their gifts/talents, others don't; which is all okay. As long as your decisions are your own. As for me, my art is my own personal experience. My story. I made the mistake of caring what people thought of them and tried to be "in". I've never studied art so how the hell would I even know the inside of the art world. I can only share what I feel and see, nothing more.

So the best advice that I can give, is to stop listening to what people, be still, and listen to yourself. We're all trying to figuring out this thing called life.


Don't let people tell you what you ought to be doing because only you know thyself. And if you don't know yourself, then start getting to know who you are...

free-forming in spirit 

Queen Badu

Miseducation of Lauryn Hill and [Me]

My world it moves so fast today
The past it seems so far away
And I squeeze it so tight, I can't breathe
And every time I try to be
What someone has thought of me
So caught up, I wasn't able to achieve
But deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny
I look at my environment                                                                 
And wonder where the fire went
What happened to everything we used to be
I hear so many cry for help
Searching outside of themselves
Now I know His strength is within me
And deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny
And deep in my heart the answer it was in me
And I made up my mind to find my own destiny

~Lauryn Hill *the genius* 

I’m the master of me and my own voice

Monday, March 1, 2010
I may perhaps be the most indecisive, wavering individual, who's landed on Earth. I challenge myself and sometimes others whenever I have the delightful chance. One of my personal goals for this year, was to find the root of my oscillating, capricious nature and I did. At first, I settled with the thought that my astrology was the cause. "Capricorn comes from capricious so guess that's why I can never make up my mind". Umph. Yeah. Right. I was proven wrong when I met several other Capricorns who do not describe themselves as moody and indecisive and yes I am ridiculous for even refering to my astrology to explain Me.

So, lately I've been thinking a lot about things I want to accomplish in 2010, one being to start producing art again, and upgrading to using canvases and paintbrushes. I've been using charcoal and oil pastel for so long and figured that if I want to take my art seriously, I should use more marketable and rich mediums. I have all the new materials collecting dust in the basement, because I'm not inspired. 
I blogged about my "artist block" many times and like I said earlier, I finally found the root to my indecisiveness and "block". I was never listening to my own voice and let other people's opinions steer me on the path that they sought out for me. Let me give y'all some background info.

Art has always been a hobby to me. It's just my way of putting my thoughts on paper and releasing emotions. I've been drawing at the age of 4, and it always made me happy and feel aligned and connected to beautiful thangs, especially music. My senior year of High School, my art teacher asked me what I was going to study in college, and at that time I had no clue. I was simply going to college because that's what I was told to do. He said to me, "Well listen. I think you're extremely talented and you have a lot of potential to be a great artist. Now, don't think I'm telling you what to do, but your purpose may just be in the art industry. Just always remember that art is a powerful tool." Honestly, I thought he was high and didn't pay any attention to what he said, but I kept his statement in mind.
After graduating from High School, I didn't draw for 2 years straight and felt lost and confused. Junior year of college, I decided to take a drawing class just for fun, and felt aligned again. I hung up all my drawings on my dorm wall and my friends were wowed because they never knew that I loved drawing. Some suggested I put them on facebook. I did. Some asked me to draw portraits of them. I did and never accepted money from those who offered. Little did I know, that I was the beginning where I started doing things for the sake of other people.
After college, friends and family members who felt like I could do something with my talent, pressured, yes pressured, me into selling my artwork. "Tarra you could make T-shirts, sell them online, you could be big man. You could help Haiti. People like art. Just do it man. Get your Masters in Arts.You can be rich and gain fame..."  blah blah blah blah blah. So I starting doing a little something that I thought was thinking, and followed people's suggestions. With no plan, message, or distinct style, I posted my work on different websites for sale, had a zazzle account, made business cards, and created a facebook fan page name Lu'maYna. After I did all of this, I couldn't draw anymore because I lost myself in the process. Nothing made sense anymore and I became morbidly indecisive because I was drawing things that I thought people would like to see.

My friends and family mean well. They really do. But only I understand and know my own tempo. I ignored my own voice and forgot that in order to get my thoughts together, I must follow a slow and steady pace. Where am I going with all of this?
Well, I'm deleting my imagekind, carbonmade, artbreak, and facebook fan page account. I'm not ready to expose myself and I know I have more potential than what is seen.
It's personal. 
I'm no longer letting people rent space in my mind and control my actions.

I create art because I like to share my thoughts. Art helps me breath better. If I don't master my own voice and purpose, I'll forever be mediocre and complacent. When I'm ready, transformed, and internally aligned, I will be back with my own website, new fan page (T'arr.a Lu), and more mature material. In the meantime, I'll continue blogging on my process and prepare myself for bigger exposure in a new city, (Chicago or NYC), and taking more chances. 

Art is that deep.
I take my shit seriously.

For those who support me, thank you. My blog will stay intact and I will continue documenting my growth as an artist...

 For those who think I'm making a huge mistake...