Motives and Thoughts-Lauryn Hill

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Rotating bodies, confusion of sound
Negative imagery, holding us down
Social delusion, clearly constructed
Human condition, morals corrupted
Trapped in reaction, lawlessness war
Dissatisfaction from bowels to core
Devil’s technology, strategy for
Human mythologies, urban folklore
Sick of psychology, counterfeit cure
Wicked theology, robbing the poor
Scheme demonology mislead the pure
Strictly strategically studying war
Light shown in darkness, image exposed
Few can see through the new emperor’s clothes
Lustful this hustle turn humans to hoes
When the blind lead the blind
Just more trouble and woes
It’s the mind that they chose
Its designed to stay closed
Standard of jokers, court just a logic
Sick looking cosmics, from schoolyards to college

Primitive man with civilize knowledge
System collapse and he still won’t acknowledge

God is the saviour, studies behavior
Trying to fix the mix mind that he gave ya
Stiff-necked scholars on prescription meds
Wishing their problems were all in their heads
Morale dilemma, pride is the root
Misguided from youth, heart divided from truth
Egyptians and Grecians, spiritually dead
Imperially led, by the gods in their heads

Motives and thoughts

Industrial wealth
Global economy, in it for self
Heart full of madness, covered with kind
Pleasure designed to take over your mind
Furnished in godliness, painted in good
This tainted priesthood got real saints misunderstood
While classes in government, set up the veil
And cultivate minds for more mythical tales
Typical Hollywood follies good girl
While vice and corruption take over the world

Motives and thoughts
Check your motives and thoughts

Blind with the wickedness, deep in your heart
Modern day wickedness is all you’ve been taught
Lied to your neighbors, so you get ahead
Modern day trickery is all you’ve been fed

Motives and thoughts
Check your motives and thoughts

Power of the Vagina

Friday, July 24, 2009
Someone shared this article with me and I thought I'd share it with others...

(Sincere gratitude and love is expressed to all the readers of the previous blog-articles. Your time, responses, and insight are always welcomed and appreciated, even if one doesn't agree with the information being presented. The heart welcomes your love, support, hatred, or dissention.
Love proceeds…)

From the earliest of recorded history even until the present day, the mother-goddess and her life-giving powers have been the center of worship, honor, and praise. Although much of her worship is concealed in the religions and cultural practices of today, the ancient cultures from around the world heralded the woman as "God" and "Goddess" of all creation and made no attempt to "conceal" it. The vagina of the mother-goddess was equally celebrated as the ancients understood the direct connection it played in reproduction and "life" itself. Elaborate myths, parables, legends, and stories were created to solidify the wisdom and importance of the role that the vagina and the woman play in the regenerative forces of fertility. As we shall see, vagina symbolism and worship is still prevalent today, carefully hidden in a male-dominated, chauvinistic society who largely sees "God" as only a "male" entity. Now let's get into this good ol' creation called a "vagina.
" Ahhh… This is gonna be a lotta fun!

How true the statement above is! Called by many names, "pussy", "poo-tayne", "coochie", or the "nappy dug-out", "vagina" is a Latin word that means 'a sheath or scabbard.' Of course both terms relate to the object that one would slide a sword into. The implication is clear that the sword was the symbolic representation of the male penis. In the various Tantric traditions of the Far East, the vagina was known as the "yoni" or "vulva" and it carried many esoteric shapes and symbols used to represent it. These images were worshipped as symbols of fertility, prosperity, and rebirth. A few of these shapes are the triangle, fish, the oval, horseshoe, egg, fruits, the "V" shape, and the "Y" shape. In the Tantric traditions it was said that the Goddess Kali personified the "yoni" and she bore the title "Kunda" or "Cunti", where the common term "cunt" is derived.
(Does this mean it's a compliment to call a someone a "cunt?") Moving right along…

Above we see the image of the "yoni" and the esoteric symbols associated with it. Also known as the "Primordial Image" or the "Yoni Yantra", the triangle shape is a very ancient representation of the Great Mother and her divine powers of fertility. Ancient cultures observed the beauty of sexual energy as welcomed attributes to their Goddesses. The Goddess of the ancient world was not thought to literally be a "virgin." In fact sexual behavior was "expected" and "required" in many of the rituals performed to honor the great goddess and her vagina, which was seen as "the portal of life."

As a comedian once said, "a few people can hide in here!" Above we see an image that shows why the "fish" symbol or "vesica piscis" is associated with the female yoni. The vesica piscis is an important esoteric symbol in sacred geometry that teaches that "creation" itself is a "feminine" occurance as two circles merge to form the image we see between the legs. Notice that it appears to be a "fish" swimming upwards to the "eggs" of fertility. Author Barbara G. Walker in her book, "THE WOMAN'S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MYTHS AND SECRETS" says that the fish is also symbolic because the ancients claimed that the genitals of a woman smelled like fish. Nonetheless we see the "shape" of the fish and why it figures heavily in vagina, Goddess, and fertility worship.

Because NOTHING in life was seen as a "coincidence", the ancient cultures observed with reverence "caves", "cracks","crevices", and certain "natural formations" that resembled the magical yoni. Above we see a cave that has been honored for centuries as a huge vagina. Caves are also places where rituals and initiations took place in association with a particular Goddess. Many cultures taught that to enter a cave or any "vagina-shaped" entrance was a powerful and symbolic ritual of being "re-born" or "born again" as one engages the "portal." Today it is hidden in two aspects of Christianity as the followers are taught they must be "born again", and also, the main character, Jesus was placed in a "cave" for 3 days before he too was "born again." Many mythological "gods" before Jesus were said to suffer and/or die in a cave or "dark place" only to be "born again." We will uncover more hidden Goddess-worship in the traditions that have come to be accepted as "Christian."

Money may not "grow on trees" but uh…. The natural formation in the tree above would've no-doubt rendered this tree as "sacred" to the ancients who honored the fertile earth as a mother who "created things in HER own image." Later the story would be "borrowed" in Christendom as the God of the Bible is said to have "made man in his own image."

Even huge gaping holes in trees such as the one seen above are examples of the "yoni in nature." Trees or any erect object normally carry esoteric associations with the penis. Yet when there is a "yoni" involved with a male energy it gives the object more significance as a "fertility tool." This is why many ancient cultures of the Far East share similar stories of the "Creator" having both male and female attributes. The obvious implication is that the "creator" holds the power of sexual reproduction.

As if we are seated, looking up her legs, this image shows us more imagery of the Goddess and yoni seen in nature.

Here we see that even fruit is not exempt from revealing the "image" of the Goddess. This cut melon, like various other fruits, shows the complex inner-workings of the female reproduction system. Visible in the image are the ovaries, fallopian tube, and vagina. Is this MAGNIFICENT, or what?! This also reveals why the ancients saw all fruit and vegetation as "the fruits of her labor",referring to the Goddess Earth of course.

Water is known to be a "feminine" substance that the ancient philosophers of Miletus saw as the "first element" that gave birth to "spirit." Women, like water, SHOULD have NO NATURAL ENEMIES. What is meant by this is that ALL people living are directly depended on water as well as woman for our existence. Also, "where there's water there's life", and it's safe to say that "where there are women, there is life.

Above is an ancient fertility symbol from the Cat Tien Sanctuary recognized throughout Asia and India as the "linga-yoni." The "lingam" (penis) is seen inside the "yoni" hole. Followers often come to the temples and pour milk over the structure to represent semen that is ejaculated into the "portal of life."

Hundreds of statuettes of the so-called "Venus" fertility goddess have been found throughout the world as a testament to the homage paid to the vagina and Goddess herself. In some ancient legends, Venus was said to be a Fairy Queen who ruled in the mountains called "Venusbergs." So popular was the worship of Venus that the Christian Church made her a "saint" named "St. Venerina" to encourage those faithful "pagan", Goddess-worshippers to accept the Christian teachings. The sacred city where her worship was prevalent still bears the likeness of her name. That city is "Venice."

Fertility statues such as this ancient one found in Rome were a part of temples that would be the modern equivalent to a church or mosque. The vagina and other nudity was not seen as "vulgar" or "obscene" and the attributes of the fertility goddess were often exaggerated so that followers were sure to notice those aspects of the human body that are "hidden" as a "shameful sin" today.

This is a depiction of the ancient Khemetic (Egyptian) Goddess, Tawaret. Her celebration as a fertility goddess was highly revered as pregnant women wore amulets of her to assist them in child-birth. In essence, she could also be seen as the divine "midwife" who assists babies in their exit from the "birth canal" or "portal of life."

No explanation needed here!! These fertility statues tell the story of yoni worship in India that dates back at least to 1,000 B.C.E. Also we see why a "round", "oval", or "circular" object is often used to symbolize the yoni or female while an erect "stone", "tree", "pole" or "rod" was symbolic of the penis.

Imagine a Church where the participants gather in a festive orgy to celebrate the vagina and fertility. Kinda hard to picture, huh? Well in the ancient Far East, some traditions of Tantric worship required the followers to engage in orgies on particular days of the moon's movements in the astrological "houses." The images on the temple above are a display of actual rituals of fertility that were held to celebrate the magical, life-giving vagina.

This fertility statue clearly shows why the "V" and/or "Y" shape is associated with the "vulva" or "yoni." We will see how it also figures in logos that secretly conceal the goddess worship.

Mmmmm… "Y" is for "yoni.
" (Or perhaps "yummy?")

Damn!! Don't hurt yourself, girl! "V" is for "vulva." (Or perhaps "vulgar?") One definition of "vulgar" is one who lacks "good breeding." We see that the "vulva" IS the influence to its as portrayal being "vulgar" in a male dominated (dumb-inated) society. In any case, we will see the "vulva" in Church iconography as well.
Now the Church could NEVER be "vulgar", could it?

Above is the ancient Egyptian symbol for the sun. As we see, it is a simple circle with a dot in the center. Long before it was seen as a symbol for a "male" deity, it was symbol of female fertility. As stated before, a circle or oval relates to the feminine principle. We will make better sense of the "dot" in a moment.

Above we see a circle that is super-imposed over the image of a beautiful pregnant woman. The "dot" is the "navel" that is roughly in the center of the stomach (circle). The navel is a natural "wound" or "scar" that is the "physical evidence" that ties us to our mothers through the magnificent "portal of life."

Above is an image of the virgin mother, "Our Lady" seen as the personification of the "sun" with the 12 stars around her to represent the 12 signs of the zodiac. She is comfortably nestled inside the "oval" which is an esoteric representation of the "vulva" from where human life is allowed.

The image above is the Mayan goddess Ixchel. Although she has associations with death and destruction, she is also known for being a fertility goddess, being called "she who makes the babies." Her association with the rabbit above was part of the inspiration of the "Christian" holiday called "Easter." The ancients have long observed the sexual habits of the rabbit to be equated with fertility. Ixchel's associations with destruction is significant because she also represents a "rebirth" during the spring. Easter, is a version of the name "Ishtar", "Aeshteroth", "Aesteroth", or "Esther" who was an ancient, PRE-Christian fertility goddess. Easter, the day Christians celebrate the "rebirth" of Christ is known as a "roving" holiday because in NEVER consistently falls on the same day each year. This would be IMPOSSIBLE if it were a TRUE HISTORICAL EVENT. If it were a REAL HISTORICAL EVENT like a birth, the DAY of the week would change each year, but NEVER the DATE. The Christian myth of Easter is an astrological celebration as it is ALWAYS celebrated on THE FIRST, "SUN"-DAY AFTER THE FIRST FULL MOON THAT FOLLOWS THE VERNAL (spring) EQUINOX. The eggs are "hidden" in the "womb" of mother Earth as children (sperm) are encouraged to find (fertilize) the eggs. The ritual is very ancient and was practiced long before the invention of Christianity.

"Rebirth" is a major theme and tenet in the spiritual practices of the ancients. As stated before, the vulva-shaped doors to various temples were seen as walking through the magical vagina. The image above is one such "portal" where an initiate or follower would enter the symbolic vulva only to exit and "enlightened" or "reborn" individual. The ancients saw the vagina for FAR more than its pleasurable sexual benefits. The spiritual and healing aspects of the vagina were wisely recognized. Interestingly enough, Dr. Aaron Turppeau of Atlanta once stated on a local radio broadcast on "sex and health" that research shows that ingesting the vaginal secretions of a healthy female increases ones immunity to DIS-eases.

Even in our modern architecture do we find the "powers that be" involved in secret "yoni worship." The crack in the diamond-shaped roof is a HUGE fertility yoni. As stated earlier, fertility also embodies the concept of "prosperity" as well. Corporations whose leaders are heavily involved in yoni worship often commission architects to design their buildings to honor the sacred vagina.

Never mind that the word "spice" carries sexual overtones in itself, this logo for the SPICE establishment clearly shows the "yoni" in the center and the "I" (penis) is carefully place in the center of it. Vagina symbolism is prevalent in the logos of corporations whose patrons are involved in the so-called "night life."

All of the symbology and rituals associated with the vagina is to create the best possible "vibration" for life to pass through the portal. When portals are depicted in films there is often a bright light or "glow" that accompanies it. This is the origin of the "pregnant glow" that has come to be a proverbial expression to explain the "beauty" and "vibrancy" that pregnant women have. Also the "darkness" of a cave (vulva) requires the "light" (glow) in the portal to help one advance through birth or a symbolic "rebirth." Also it was said that a woman "glows" due to the "purity" of the "aura" which surrounds the human form in the shape of a "vulva."

BEFORE and immediately after birth through the "great portal", we are directly depended upon the love, nurturing, and treatment from our mothers for our very survival. This is TREMENDOUS "authority" and "responsibility" to be imparted on the woman. Because ALL humans are directly related to a mother, it is easy to see why ancient cultures deemed it necessary to worship and/or observe the powers of the vagina and the spectacular beings who possessed them.

The image above could be seen as "exiting" the "portal of life." This miracle is one that continues to inspire the reverence and honor of the female as the "Goddess/God of creation." The ancients who worshipped the yoni and the goddess understood that even the biggest man had to come through the "portal of life" as a small baby first.

Too adorable!! The above image depicts the "gift of life" that is born through a magnificent "portal of life." As we have discovered, that "portal" has influenced many of the Earth's ancient and modern cultures. Perhaps we owe it to ourselves to rediscover the magnificence that is the "portal" of our existence. The symbols and iconography of the yoni are prevalent in the fabric world culture as a whole. If vagina is a "bad" thing, then all she bears must be "bad" too. Yet for millions of years the yoni has only produced "good fruit" in her role as "the portal of life.

(Please share this info with those who care to know.
Divine love to you ALL!! HOTEP!! HOTEP!! HOTEP!!)

-Akhenamen, from the Heartical-Article series,2008

Locs birthed 07/19/2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009
Last moment with my Afro

I had a long run with fro fro

All loc'd up

The journey begins...

Sorry I'm a misfit?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009
So I started my loc-ing process this pass Sunday and I love it! It's different, it's short, it makes me look less like a 16 year old, and it feels très chic. I still have to get used to the new look and the constant itch, but I like it and unlike my ephemeral relationships, I believe that this is will be a long-term commitment.

Although it has only been two days, I've noticed lots of changes towards me. I was hoping to raid off the old pedophile men and creeps from talking to me, but now it's worst. I guess it's because I look more confident, but my run ins with old, ghoulish men on the bus and train, has intensify. But that's not the issue. The issue though is that I no longer feel accepted at my workplace. Granted I work with predominantly white middle aged people, the looks I'm getting is incredible. I am an eclectic person and mesh well with people of different ethnic groups and enjoy learning about cultures other than my own; therefore, I do not intend to make this posting about race relations this is just merely my observations. However, it amazes me how the awkward vibe of a group of people can make one feel like a offbeat due to a hair style. Hair represents an individual and their heritage and correct me if I'm wrong but I do not remember being born with European hair. I do remember the box of Just For Me relaxer that my mother and aunt took turns slapping on my hair with a fragile wooden stick, and the breakage that soon preceded; yet, I don't recall having European textured hair...ever.

When I started this job, I walked in with extension and let me tell you, people were walking by my cubicle everyday saying hello and wanting to get to know me because I was the new "kid". I took out the extensions because my hairline was receding and started wearing my Afro with a headband, and the hellos were still there. Maybe it's because my hair is fairly curly when I put gel in it but the hellos and the drop-by's were still apparent. So Monday morning, I walked into the building and this time I was welcomed with glares and whispers starting from the security lady (who normally smiles at me), to the elevator, to my cubicle. No one said hello, not even my supervisor who's always stopping by to share little anecdotes of his weekends. The one's who said hello, said it only when my eyes met theirs or when I said hello first. This one lady almost tripped from staring at my baby locs. I know I look semi bald because the hair is not full yet, but come on! I don't see Paul's and Henry's bald ass getting blazed like this! Now I don't know if my paranoia is kicking in, but like Ripley's, believe it or not, things have changed. Maybe in their eyes I'm getting too comfortable amongst them I dunno, sorry I'm a misfit, but I'm sick and tired of conforming to societies norms. My locs are very neat, rolled up correctly, and flat (pictures will be up soon), so what's the problem? Deep down I'm hoping that I'm getting treated differently because my hair is so fa-bu-lous and fierce that they're speechless, but I know that's not the case. I recently finished reading a book by Toni Blackman and I can't help it but relate to a passage where she asks:

new Negro?

they used to talk about a new Negro
i want to know what am i

am i an old negro because
the new Negro is now old


am i a new Negro because i am
not old enough to be an old negro


is it that I was born after the
new Negro and they called me black


is it that i am not black anymore
since i am African American?

-Toni Blackman

Staceyann Chin

Monday, July 13, 2009
Feminist or Womanist?

If Only Out of Vanity?


Friday, July 10, 2009
You either got to be a Nurse, Doctor, Businessperson, Lawyer or Engineer, in order to be a person of importance according to Haitians.

Haitian mentality in a nutshell.

Ask a Haitian native or a Haitian American college student what they're studying, and I guarantee you that the majority of the ladies will say Nursing and the majority of the lads will say Business or Engineer. Now ask them why they picked those subject matters, and you'll either get well I want to help people (Nurse, Doctor), or the bold will say, "I need a career that makes money" (Business, Engineer), or you'll get the (my favorite) "I dunno" aka "my parents told me so". A lot of Haitians are very artistic, musical, poetic but yet we limit ourselves to jobs that requires us to sit in front of a box (PC) within a box (cubicle) and tek tek tek making someone else filthy rich (ooooooo I wonder who that could be).

When I was graduating from High School, I told my mother that I wanted to major in Art and she almost had a stroke. She looked at me said "KISA?! [WHAT]" and called everyone in the family saying that I lost my damn mind and that I was setting myself up for failure. She made sure to change my mind, by pointing to her skin everyday saying discordantly, "You see this, you you see this right here, ou nwo [you're black] ti neg [niggers] can't do just ANY job because of this". So the punk that I was, listened to her brainwashed ass and became the confused college student who changed their major 10 billion times and played it safe. Don't get me wrong I don't have any regrets, but I do wish that I had the ovaries to DREAM BIG and made my dreams my reality at a much younger age. My passion is art and writing; however I never thought of making a career out of them. I always sought them as side jobs or hobbies, something to do for fun, but never as a medium to encourage change. Granted I sort of rebelled against my mother's wishes of me becoming a Madame la Doctoresse and majored in a hard-to-get-a-job field, but I still have that complex Haitian mentality that pursuing anything else than Medical, Law etc are not considered intelligent work. I still struggle trying to figure out what I should get my Masters in and how I can incorporate art with something intelligent. I am pretty sure that NO culture is perfect, but why is it that countries that are considered "3rd world" have these complex issues? Yes it is true that we have dealt with some of the more socially destructive aspects of the great lie, that all humans have a potential equality, but why are we as Black people trapped by the limitation of our imagination by believing that our ability is limited. It's time we start listening to our hearts and being true ourselves. It's time we start taking risk and stop playing it safe. It's time for a change within; it's time to let our creative speak for itself and be heard.

Eyes on Me

Friday, July 3, 2009
When I started this blog, I had no idea what my focus would be. Of course art and hair would be a prominent topic, however I have yet to incorporate the current issues that my culture faces. In order to make a change, you must start within yourself and realize what you are and not doing. So lately I've been thinking profoundly about my purpose which is correlated to my identity, and what I wish to accomplish during my existence on Earth... and can up with nothing concrete. I have so many ideas brewing in my mind of ways to save humanity; however, I still can't figure out how to share my vision with others. My utmost passion is of course art but what exactly can I do with my talent? Recently, I was reading someone's blog and was fascinated of how passionate she was about human rights and actually started an organization for youth. I'm also big on human rights but I never do anything about it, I only talk about it; but talk is cheap. So then I started thinking about who are silenced the most and came up with children. Then I thought well how can you save children who are abused and voiceless. Once again I came up with nothing.

But then it hit me today, what about Haiti? I wasn't born there, but Haitian blood still runs in my vein and I'm entwined with the culture and spirits. I'm always proud to say I'm Haitian and despite the fact that I feel like I'm checking out early when I eat the food, I still love it, and love the music, dance, art, our sarcastic yet beautiful language, and our sense of humor. I've been there many times and lived there for 4 years and feel like it's my true home. Yet I'm still ignorant about the political, economical, and social downfall of Haiti. I know I shouldn't be incriminating myself like that, but it's the truth. Why is it that I don't know as much as I should about Haiti and why aren't I doing anything to help fix Haiti? Why is it that my generation, with all the knowledge we've obtained in top notch Universities, aren't participating in social change addressing the fact that Haiti is crumbling. Why are we letting Haiti fall apart right before our eyes? Even though we don't live there, we're still affected by what is going on. For instance, if one day the American government decides that all the immigrants and their children should return to their home, would you be able to handle what is going on in Haiti. Even though it's unlikely that would ever happen, but let it marinate a bit.

Everybody is running away from the problem and is scared shitless to even visit Haiti right now. We have the power, voice, resources, and revolutionary attitude, yet my generation, my Haitian generation isn't doing much about current issues in Haiti.

I'm not doing much about it...

Only a few people are speaking, singing, drawing, visiting, and writing stuff about Haiti and the more I think about my purpose and identity, I think about the restavek (children slaves) I met in Haiti and how underdeveloped Haiti remains. And what's funny is that whenever I talk about this issue to my mom, aunts or other older folks, they don't see anything wrong with having restaveks in their country. In fact my own mother would gloat about how she grew up so wealthy that all of her siblings had a personal slave picking up and wiping down all their shit. It hurt to see how powerless and voiceless these children are. As cliche as this sounds, children are the future, yet if they're being dehumanized and desensitized, what are we left with?