Poem of the Day

After awhile you learn the subtle difference                
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open,
And learn to build all your roads

 

On today because tomorrow’s ground

Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine

Burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate

Your own soul, instead of waiting

For someone to bring you flowers.

 

And you learn that you really can endure…
that you really are strong

And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn.. .

With every goodbye you learn. 

— Veronica Shoffstall

Beautiful!

Changing blog address

Hello World! I don't know what affect/effect this will have, but I'm changing my blog address to 

http://tarralu.blogspot.com

Thanks

"Unconscious"

I created this piece when I was unconscious...

I don't get sick often, actually I rarely get sick.

Back in 2007, there were these flyer's circulating on campus suggesting that we all get a flu shot. Since I rarely get sick I don't know what motivated me to do so, but I took the flu shot and never had I ever been so sick in my either life until I took that flu shot. I stayed in my dorm room for an entire week with no food, money, or phone to call my momma.
I was a broke college student.
I was so sick, that my roommate decided to "move out" for that particular week and well I don't blame her. I had no phone, no money, no food, no energy, couldn't move, and no voice.

Luckily I had friends who noticed I've been missing for quite some time. Five of them banged on my door screaming my name frantically and asked my RA and hall mates if they've seen me. It took a good 20 minutes to get up and let them in (lack of energy). When I opened the door, they screamed as if they've seen crypt keeper's spawn and quickly went to the campus's convenient store to buy me some medicine. They came back with Sudafed, Zicam, Alka Seltzer, Nyquil, Dayquil, and masks.


I don't know which one of those FDA approved drugs knocked me out, I'm sure it was Sudafed but I hallucinated. I started creating cinemas EN VIVO, LIVE, in my mind, but it all felt and seemed real. I was told I walked down the hallway talking to imaginary people, took a stroll in the men's restroom, ahhh I was a complete mess.

The next morning I woke up feeling much better. Praise the Lord for sending over my dear friends! I was cold though. I looked around and realized that in my FDA approved drugs state of mind, I decided to abandon my bed and sleep on the freezing floor. I also decided I wanted to paint and voila! "Unconscious".

I don't remember doing any of this AT ALL and that's why I call it "unconscious" because I have no clue when this came about and what it meant. The only clue my unconsciousness provided me, were the medium I used, and proof that I in fact drew this, (since my signature was on it and my hands were stained with pastel). Based on what was resting on the floor besides me, I crushed soft pastel to make it turn into watercolor. That's all I could decipher. Actually I'm lying. I knew what it meant. There used to be sentences and words surrounding the subject, but I quickly painted over them in black ink because I was so insecure back then, and didn't want anyone to read them.

Now, I wish I left the words and sentences intact...

I rarely share this piece because my unconscious part of my psyche wanted to express itself, and I felt the need to protect it. I'm a totally different person now...and after 3 years locked in my hiding space, I present you once again "Unconscious".

Name changes

I changed some of my titles to something a bit more personal. These 8 were the only "Behind the Story" I've done on my blog and wanted everyone to know what they are now

"ChaOs" is now "Truth" (2008)

"Byen Vag" is now "Gliding with Pride" (2008)

"Lu'maYna" is now "Coconette" (2008)

"Afro Disqo" is now "Fro'lushes" (2009)

"Divizyon" is now "different paths...moving on" (2009)

"Fenix" is now "Introspection/Wake Up" (2009)

"Ble" is now "x-traterrestrial" (2009)

End of hiatus beginning of something new

A lot of changes has been happening in my life lately. However, the change that I want to write about is my art. I'm creating again. For those who follow my blog knows that my journey been super frustrating. I compared myself to others way too much and tried to imitate others style just to be "in". I don't have any formal training and my reasoning was that my art was too amateurish and not worth exposing. Well that was Miss Fear speaking, and she had to pack her bags and get the get.

It all started when I went over a friend's place and saw her nude walls. I asked her if she planned on doing anything about the nudity, and she reciprocated if I wanted to do something about it for her. I knew what she meant and said "I'll think of something".
Two days and13 hours of creating, "I'll think of something" turned into this.  
Look below

Yes. I present you "Nu'vo" (oil & acrylic on 28x30 canvas).

I called it Nu'vo (which is the French pronunciation of nouveau 'new') because it's the beginning of something new: appreciating my rawness. I mean, as much as I say I would like to take some art classes, it will never happen because I'm a devout nonconformist. Ever since I was a little person I realized that following the norm drives me insane. I have my own conceptions when it comes to art, and I rather be my own professor thank you very much.


I don't know the real definition of art or what it is, but all I know is that primal emotions is what guides me and my world. I view my art in terms of stories, personal experiences, and emotions. So when I draw women with wide hips and big behinds look above, don't think I got pencil happy or somthing of that sort,  it's just that I grew up seeing big bumbums.
Simple as that.

So this was actually my first time using paintbrushes, oil & acrylic paint, and a canvas. I normally draw on paper so this was a really good experience and I'm quite proud of myself. This was based solely on expressions rendered from my brain, without conscious preparation or any calculation about future critique. I now know that I create my true work when I dig deep and let it flow with no worries of technique. I know my work will not be appreciated by many, but that's ok. Maybe my art is meant for people who don't relate to what's mainstream. If so, then I'm glad to be part of the 'outcast' audience.

Sidenote: I'll be moving out of Boston into a new city I'll be specific when I'm established into this new city I'm moving to. One of my goals is to live somewhere that doesn't hinder my creativity artsy and have my own workplace. This will definitely happen this Summer/Fall.  For now, I can only draw when someone lets me use their floor.
*Kanye shrug*

However, I'm working on a website through weebly. I haven't published the site yet but when I do, you'll know. Also, my brushname is now my real name. Tarra Lu. This will be permanent considering it's my real name and God knows how much me gusta mi nombre. Anyhoo, everything (twitter, facebook, website, online portfolio, art) will just be Tarra Lu written as T'arr.a Lu. I'm also changing this blog's name to Tarra Lu. I don't know if that's possible but we'll see.


Tata for now :)

9 months locing

I have a busy day ahead of me, so I'll only post pictures for this update and will blog about it later.

9 months wooohoooo!!! Love. It!

Where was this poem when I needed it!

Ode to a Shitty Friend

Dear shitty friend,
You used to be my closest friend~
But now , after years of friendship thrown down the toilet by you~
You are indeed the shittiest of friends!
We used to be like sisters~
Where there was one, there was the other.
I shared in your happiness,
I was your biggest cheerleader!
Your friendship was more valuable to me than anything else in the world.
Then, the time came when we had to grow up.
The friendship could have evolved, it could have survived, it could have flourished~
But you chose to cut me out of your life.
Returning only on occasions when you felt especially shitty about yourself and you needed me in your cheering section.
You were like some crazy friend version of a booty call.
You'd call when you needed a friend and disappear when you didn't need it.
But when I needed my cheerleader, you were no where to be found.
When I needed guidance, sisterhood, love,support and friendship,
You turned your back on me;stopped answering your phone.
I kept waiting, even coming back for more.
I figured, you needed my friendship more than I needed my dignity.
Now, the calls have become few and far between.
Maybe once every year or so, you check in~
Just to make sure that I am not perfectly happy, you like to drop in and infuse my life with a little misery.
It's OK. I don't get upset and cry anymore,
I barely even care.
In sad reality, I expect nothing of you
And there lies our friendship, on the floor in a million pieces.
I don't worry about you ever reading this,
I know that you wouldn't afford yourself the inconvenience.
There is no benefit in it for you.
Thanks for the lifetime, but lets move forward.
I have children of my own now and I can't keep stroking your ego,
And feeding your narcissism.
I am too tired, too old, and even less interested.
Please don't call me inebriated, professing love and friendship
and making promises that you have no intentions of keeping in the light of day.
I have endured my last frustration and worry over you.
I wish you nothing but happiness in your life~
But I refuse to any longer try to resuscitate a friendship that is so long dead.

Yours truly,

Someone who is finally coming to their senses

Interview with Janelle Monae

In this theBVX exclusive, Janelle Monae talks about her signature tuxedo style and why going pantless à la Rihanna and Beyonce isn't an option.

Ever since she hit the scene as a member of OutKast's posse in 2006, singer Janelle Monae has stood out not only for her unique voice and James Brown-like dancing skills, but her afro-pompadour hairstyle and masculine tuxedo-focused style. TheBVX caught up with the 24-year old Kansas native, whose album The ArchAndroid is out May 18th, to discuss the style that has landed her in Vogue on multiple occasions.

You grew up in Kansas, which isn't exactly the fashion capital of the U.S. Did you stick out like a sore thumb?

Oh yeah! I was always told that. I didn't try to and it wasn't like I wanted to be different. But there were times when I thought people were trying to get me to conform and it made me define myself more. I think that's always been in me. When I see so much of the same thing, it bothers me. Growing up, that did push me to define my own look.

Your style today is focused solely on tuxedos and oxford flats — even though you're 5-feet-tall. Do you have style icons you look to?

I love Katharine Hepburn. She's definitely one of my inspirations. I also love designer Thom Browne. His little cropped tuxedos, I love those. I actually wore one in GQ a couple of years back. I just love the cut. And I love Alfred Hitchcock, I loved how he dressed and his attitude. It's more about the person, not everyone can get away with wearing tuxedos. It's a lifestyle for me. I like people I can look to like Karl Lagerfeld. He wears the same thing all the time.

You've been wearing the pompadour hairstyle for a while now. But at the moment, it's actually becoming a huge trend, especially on male runway models and people like Mark Ronson. What do you think of that?

Well, it's called the "Monae" and it's a lifestyle thing. I'm not just doing it because it's a trend. It's like my superhero uniform. When I'm working and performing and even in my off time, this is how I like to wear my hair. It's just transcendent. You can wear it anytime and it works. It's like a retro-futuristic feel. I've seen people trying to wear it, and that's fine. I just know it's a trend for some people. I like Mark Ronson, he's a supporter of mine. People mean well and I didn't invent the pompadour, but only one person can wear this particular hairstyle and that's Janelle Monae.

When most young female performers start their careers, they put their sex appeal front and center. You don't do that. Your style is more masculine and you don't even wear heels!

Well, I love heels but they just have to be the right heels. They can't be heels that everybody is wearing. They have to really have to make me want to hurt because they are so cute. But I love saddle oxfords because they have a clean, classic, transcendent look. I want to look at my photos and I don't want to know that that was the Nineties. I want to keep it very classic. It can be [the year] 2719 or 1950 and it works. And I don't really believe in "masculine wear" and all of that. Because just knowing fashion history, there was a time when men wore tunics and women were wearing the trousers. For me, I'm just attracted to this cut.


So we shouldn't expect you to go the pantless route a la Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Rihanna and strip down anytime soon?

I'm naked at home. I paint naked and I love my body and appreciate it. But at the same time, I think my music is most important. My body is really nice and I would hate for it to upstage my art. Especially because I think my art can motivate change more than my body can. As a woman, [stripping down] is the easy way. I love all the artists you just mentioned. But for me, I like to keep my focus on my music, my art, my voice. And I don't want to be distracting people with how beautiful my body is. It's not about that right now.

Staceyann Chin came to Boston

"The Other Side of Paradise": DOPE
Staceyann Chin: The DOPEST

I saw her in person last night at Boston College. One of the best experiences ever.

Meet Ian Johnson

I love blogging. I really do. Why? Because I can connect with people who appreciate the arts. Today I've been introduced to artist Ian Johnson. His work is INCREDIBLE. I definitely found my muse. I love mixed media and all of my latest work as been experimenting with mixed media. I wasn't sure if that should be my signature, but after seeing his work, yup mixed media is officially my style. Check out some of his work.

View more of his work here

Ian Johnson's website

Paul Frank art attack

 I decided to enter an art competition (my first one actually). Click on the link and vote if you like!


Thanks for the support!




http://www.paulfrank.com/art_attack/rate/entry/493

Coloring results

Just wanted to show the tinting results with black henna. Not much coloring going on come to think of it. I wanted my hair to be blue black but it just made my hair darker but whateves. I love my hair so much and felt like showing some more picture. 8.5 months!!!

Btw. So I read the black henna package that I used, and guess what.... it had P-Phenylenediamine (PPD) in it which is rather danger. I freaked out a bit and thought my hair was going to fall out, until I read somewhere that the FDA approves a small quantity of PPD for hair coloring but not on your skin. So far my hair is not falling out and no itching so I think I'm safe. I definitely won't be using that again. I'll look around for indigo and use that since I want to do the whole natural thing...
Alright well that's it folks!

Favorite poem "Still I Rise"

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,                     
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise

~Maya Angelou