From an Old Woman to a Young Woman

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Whilst prying through other writers' blog, I picked up on this post called From an Old Woman to a Young Woman. Making its first appearance on craigslist, (who knew that craigslist could also be a place of providing ingenuous yet sardonic tips), this list of wisdom definitely hit home. Last night, I received a phone call from a young woman/friend who's in her last year of college, reporting about the lack of respect young college women have for themselves. It agonizes me to hear about women who stays in toxic relationships because they believe it's the best that they can do.

If a basketball or football player or a popular good looking dude, is willing to f*ck me, then that must mean I'm special.

They're afraid to be alone, in solitude, with themselves, and rather be disrespected in order to prove to themselves that someone is willing to be with them, even if they're just merely pussy.

It's totally a SMH (shaking my head) moment, but I can sympathize.

I can only make reference to my Haitian culture, but I sympathize because a lot of young women grow up with parents or guardians who are afraid to talk about sex. They'll say "Stay away from that guy, he's a vagabon!" without explaining who or what is a vagabon and how to determine if one belongs to that division. Haitian women have this way of being the victim and not realizing that a dude will treat you poorly if you let them do so (been there, done that, erased it from my DNA). If women were willing to speak up, demand respect, show that they love themselves, and told meat shoppers to keep it moving, Ooo Wii, it would be a different game.

Every young women (especially college women) should N.B. this list because so many of them are lost and suffering silently...

P.S. Vagabon means womanizer, dog, playa, meat shopper, you get my drift

From an Old Woman to a Young Woman

1. You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, don’t take the pussy route and blame the world for your misfortune. If you were sexually assaulted, verbally abused, etc and lived to tell about it; take your pain and help those who need it. Writing emo poetry isn’t going to solve anything.

2. Invest in your education first, your looks second. Anyone can pay a plastic surgeon to look hot, but not everyone can read a book and do simple math.

3. No matter what you call it, having a ‘man to take you shopping’ is glorified prostitution. He wants you for your body, you want him for his wallet. Cut the crap and call it what it is.

4. Do not seek confidence in other people. Magazines, celebrities and most pop influences are there to make you feel like you’re nothing. Don’t buy into it. Those celebrities need your money to look fabulous. Invest in yourself, not hype.

5. Stop fueling gossip mongers [Perez Hilton, TMZ.]. They have nothing to talk about and if you follow them for long, neither will you.

6. Be modest; why have all your goods unwrapped and leave nothing for the imagination?

7. Know the difference between fucking and love. There is a major difference and if you don’t know it, pick up a book or ask someone who does.

8. Do not have children just because you’re lonely or insecure. Your child will end up hating you for it and you won’t get the emotional blanket you hoped you’d get.

9. Get a job. Seriously. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean that you are excused from work. Find a trade, get a job. If you are a house wife, be a good one. If you are a career woman, put your heart into what you do.

10. A respectable companion is rarely at a ‘bar’ or da club’. These places are meat markets and will only set you up for a douchebag or a wimp. If you go, refer to rule 7.

11. Learn to cook. Cooking is a dying skill that needs not be. You’d be surprise how much weight you lose and how you can get a decent companion if you know more than picking up a phone and calling for dinner.

12. Get off your phone. If it’s not your best friend, your job or your family, your cackling is not important and the rest of the world does not want to hear it. Listen more. Talk less.

13. Stop putting so much of your money into things [purses, shoes, make up] and start putting it into a savings account, a 401k or an IRA. Those shoes are not going to vest when you turn 65.

14. Stop using men to get you stuff. Have some self respect and buy your own drinks, meals and entertainment. A date will respect you more if you show them you are not helpless.

15. Perfume and baby powder does not make up for good hygiene. Shower, do your laundry, clean your place. Body odor is not excusable for either genders.

16. Buy clothes that fit. Be tasteful with your clothing be you big or small.

17. Don’t eat for comfort, vomit to make yourself beautiful, and starve yourself to feel loved. Exercise, be sensible with your food choices, don’t deprive yourself but never eat too much. The quickest way to a size 30, and to the grave, is past your teeth.

18. If they say the I love you, ask them to earn your heart through good deeds, genuine kindness and respect.

19. Romance is not dead; but if you’re not willing to give it, don’t expect it in return.

20. Stop being a bitch to other women and other people. If you are not happy, go get therapy. No one deserves to be berated because you don’t have the guts to berate yourself.

21. Do something new every day. Pole dance to learn about your sensuality, paint to express your creativity, write a blog to express your soul. Evolve and never stop learning.

22. Look in the mirror everyday and smile at what you see.

23. Stay safe. Learn to defend yourself against one or multiple attackers. Jackals do not attack if they see a big stick. If all else fails, run. There is no shame in running if it keeps you safe.

24. Love yourself. Always. When you love yourself to the fullest, the world will open with opportunities