Dear 2009

I used to ask friends about their new year's resolution just to formulate my own. 

I was a follower.

I didn't have enough confidence in myself to believe that what I needed to work on was important or valid.  

Until this year: 2009. 

Every year once the ball drops and the clock says it's midnight, I go on my knees and pray. Despite my lack of faith during the end of 2008, I still talked to God and simply asked her to help me grow in 2009. I won't go into much details about the events that occurred, but it was strange. 

Oh yes. It. Was. Strange.

Yet, it was magical. 

So many "horrible" things happened that could have made me sell my soul to the devil, but instead I told Queen God that I was rolling with her. 
And guess what, I grew up.

One thing about growth is that if you're really serious about it, you have to realize that some people are gonna be left behind. I burned bridges with a lot of "friends" and even some family members. Not because I wanted to, but because it was necessary so that I could focus on me. 
So that I could see clearly. 
So I could be in tuned and upgraded. 
I had to dismantle the old me and reboot.   

I stopped following mainstream views and made my own visions. 

I stopped worrying about living up to friends' expectations and didn't care if they didn't like the person I was becoming. 

I stopped acting a certain way to make that boy like me and no longer waited around.  

I stopped caring if standing up for myself meant making an enemy. 

I stopped caring if that friend didn't understand what I was doing with my life or the decisions I was making.

I stopped caring if friends and family members seen locs as unattractive.

One family member said "watch, you're gonna take your locs out once you find a man." Long time ago that statement would have made me unraveling my hair in seconds, but not anymore. This time I said, "well if a guy doesn't like my hair the way it is... if they can't deal with all of this, then they could keep it moving." That family member was shock by my retort because I was clearly transforming into a woman. 

I no longer allow people to talk or treat me a certain way. You know. That way that makes you feel unappreciated, a piece of gum stuck under shoes, or even worse, a big mistake.

I also stopped caring if fighting for what was mine or making a point meant that I would be insulted or slandered. Insults are signs of weakness. You know cowardice.

 I stopped caring if people found me weird or crazy. So the F what!!! WHATEVER

And the best of all, I found a new friend. my Self. 
Maybe it sounds narcissistic but I truly understand the meaning of being bffl with your Self. 

I stay in check with my Self. 

I don't seek out for others opinions anymore, I look within.

I don't wait for someone to give me their approval, I do what I do when I want to do it.

So queen God, thank you for what you gave me in 2009.

I asked for growth, you gave me ten folds of it.

I've been blessed.

I know 2010 will be tremendously special, now that I'm rocking with 20/10 vision. 

So for the rest of the day, before I go out to shake my booty with 900 people screaming HAPPY NEW YEAR, I'm going to work on my vision board. VIPs (very important processes) for 2010. 

Peace, safety, and blessings y'all

SEE YOU IN 2010!!!